


Cherry-Flavored King Size Condoms?

by EllieWan



Series: Sweetie Pie (Ace/Thermite) [12]
Category: Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)
Genre: Fanfiction of Fanfiction, Fluff and Humor, Light-Hearted, M/M, POV Outsider, Sexual Undertones, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:01:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29859177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieWan/pseuds/EllieWan
Summary: She's been a shopkeeper in this local convenience store for some time now.But lately, with the international military base nearby, some funny groups of people started to appear, including... that one.
Relationships: Håvard "Ace" Haugland/Jordan "Thermite" Trace
Series: Sweetie Pie (Ace/Thermite) [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1985390
Comments: 10
Kudos: 19





	Cherry-Flavored King Size Condoms?

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Tachanka/Kapkan ficlet collection](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27728534) by [kiki_92](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiki_92/pseuds/kiki_92). 



> Ok, so this is basically a fanfiction of Kiki_92's fanfic (which I absolutely LOVE, _please_ read it!), who let me borrow the plot and character for this <3 Thank you so much! 
> 
> I hope you'll find it cute & funny.  
> \+ Sorry for any mistake / weird phrasing.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Hereford could sometimes be referred to as “that countryside shithole”. And as the main shopkeeper of its main convenience store, she couldn’t disagree with that, but at least most of her days were calm – if not boring.

Lately though, new faces had started to appear. People with various accents, diverse physiques, and a peculiar energy that denoted a lot with the dull and monotonous daily grind of the old British countryside.

And among those new faces, there was _him._

The first time she saw him, she immediately thought he was a model or something. The man was standing at more than 6ft tall, dressed like a fashion icon with colorful and daring sportswear clothes, fakely disheveled light blond hair and a milky skin dotted with a few perfectly placed moles. He was absolutely gorgeous; eyes blue like the clearest summer sky.

The first time she _heard_ him, she asked him to repeat what he had just said – a joke, blurted with a charming grin. Confidence emanating from every inch of his skin. And from his accent, she assumed he was Danish or Icelandic, which comforted her in her intuition of him being an international model or someone working in fashion or media. He didn’t look like someone from the international military base nearby, though he had lean and well-defined muscles.

But that day, he arrived with someone else. Someone at least as cute, though in a totally different way. That one was American, a southerner, considering how he would tell her “sorry ma’am” when she didn’t talk loud enough for him, despite his hearing aid. Or considering his mere stance, his remarks, his idioms. Everything was screaming Texas, and he didn’t need a cowboy hat for that. (Did she also mention his checked shirts? With rolled sleeves, revealing strong arms covered in burns and scars.)

He had beautiful eyes too; silvery like the reflect of the moon in a lake at night. Eyelids slightly droopy, and dark eyebrows furrowing with what looked like a constant state of fatigue. But he would smile, whenever talking to her. He would also smile at what the blond model would say, though he would try to repress it and pretend to be grumpy. He was terribly charming.

However, when she saw them talking with the Russian couple, Aleksandr and Maxim, whom she had noticed a few weeks ago, she quickly understood that despite what she had originally thought, they _were_ from the military base too. And she started imagining those two on the battlefields. The blond model would be the sniper, the medic; and the dark-haired grump would be the gunner or the demolition expert, considering the burns on his hands and his hearing aid. She wondered if the blond one had been there, when the dark-haired had been injured. Were they friends or merely partners? Did he help him through a battlefield, save him, or had the dark-haired been the one protecting him, shielding him with his own body, losing his hearing and skin in the process?

There were just so many stories to tell with this cute and funny duo, new pages appearing behind her eyelids every time she would hear them and learn more about them through their conversations.

“Oops, sorry! I forgot something!” suddenly exclaimed the blond one when she was scanning their articles.

“Come on! Really, man?” the dark-haired whined.

“Don’t worry sweetie pie, be there in a sec!” he exclaimed, jogging away.

 _Well, that was some intimate nickname,_ she thought, _is he messing with him, or… ?_

The American rolled his eyes with a repressed chuckle, and apologetically looked at her:

“I’m sorry, Ma’am, he’s not very… organized.”

“It’s ok, there’s no one waiting behind you guys,” she simply replied, delighted to have some uncommon interactions with them. “Is he always like that?”

“Kind of. He has way too many ideas flashing in his brain for my mental health.”

“Must be entertaining.”

He softly chuckled, a warm smile stretching his lips while his eyes wandered a bit.

“Yeah.”

“I’m here, sweetie pie!” exclaimed the blond one again.

“Don’t call me that,” the American grumbled.

“I had forgotten the condoms! I know, how silly of me!”

When hearing those words, she suddenly _blushed_ …  
while the American suddenly _paled_.

“What the f… Man, you… !” he stammered.

The blond one smirked, and, leaning in, asked her with a seductive expression:

“I’m sorry, but it seems there were no cherry-flavored king size condoms… D’you know when you’ll replenish the stock?”

“Cherry-flavoured… king size?” she timidly repeated, eyes widening, concealing the dense theater of images displaying behind her retinas.

The American slapped the blond’s arm:

“Cherry-flavored?!! Stop it! You don’t even wear… king size!” he blurted.

“Perhaps, but I know someone who does…” the blond replied, his mouth softly brushing against his friend’s cheek. The latter glared at him, and lightly pushed him back.

“Hush now! You’re being embarrassing! I’m so sorry, Ma’am, I don’t know what he’s talking about, he’s just-“

“Joooordan…” the blond one mischievously hummed.

“Oh my God, I can’t! Here, take the money and pay for my stuff, I’m waiting in the car.”

The blond one chuckled, while the dark-haired man quickly left the scene, heading for the parking lot. She couldn’t repress a grin either, and continued to scan the last articles, including the tutti-frutti condom box.

But then, the blond one added a last article he had been hiding.

It was a pretty heart-shaped box of chocolates; some remains from Valentine’s Day. They all had a unique message on them, and that one was saying: “You’re my man, my world. And I’ll love you till the end of times ♥” She grabbed the box, and gently stroked the engraved message while scanning it, genuinely touched by the romanticism of it.

“It’s for him, isn’t it?” she guessed in a murmur.

“Y-Yeah,” the blond admitted, blushing a bit – his cheeky confidence vanishing to let his vulnerability and emotions appear with authenticity.

“So, you weren’t really looking for the cherry-flavoured king size condoms?”

“Not really, I just didn’t want him to see the chocolates. Need to surprise him when he doesn’t expect, eh?”

“He’s a lucky man.”

“Nah, I’m the lucky one. That poor sweetheart’s just stuck with me.”

“He doesn’t seem that bothered, though he tries to keep the grumpy face on.”

“Can’t blame him. Life’s been… tough on him. I just try to bring positive chaos to counterbalance it.”

She smiled, her eyes lowering on her cash register.

If _this_ wasn’t love, then she had no clue of what it was supposed to be.

“I’ll order the cherry-flavoured king size condoms for next time,” she playfully replied with a wink.

“You’re an angel, thank you, miss,” he thanked her, paying for the stuff and putting them in his cloth bag, printed with aces of spades forms.

She then followed him with her eyes, a gentle smile on her lips, as he joyfully hopped towards the exit. The dark-haired man was waiting for him just outside the automatic door, grumpy face on. She heard him cry:

“You’re insufferable!” he scolded the blond one. “And let me remind you that we still have a ton of condoms at the base because you ordered the Valentine’s Day special edition ultimate pack thing on internet!”

“Aaaanw, why is my sweetie pie so grumpy? Are you hungry?”

“I’m embarrassed! You’re embarrassing. That nice girl didn’t need your spectacle and-“

The blond suddenly leant in and pressed his lips against the other’s, muffling his whining in a tender kiss. She saw him smile against his lips, and when he parted away to stick his forehead to the other’s, she heard him say:

“Still mad at me, grumble-bee?”

“Yes!”

He pressed a second kiss to his lips.

“And now?”

“Hm… a bit less.”

And a third one.

“And now?”

“Ok, ok, I’m good. Now let’s go before someone sees us. I think I saw Alexsandr in the toys’ section, and he’s going to be horribly awkward if he notices us.”

“Oh, he shops here, too? Maybe that’s why they hadn’t cherry-flavored king size condoms anymore…”

“Oh my God, Håvard! That’s none of our business!”

The blond burst out laughing, and wrapped an arm around the grump’s shoulders, pressing a loud kiss in his hair.

“You’re right sweetie pie, let’s go home.”

**Author's Note:**

> :)  
> This is it haha, I hope you had fun and enjoyed it <3 Lemme know :'D  
> \+ Once again, please read the [ original Tachanka/Kapkan one](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27728534/chapters/68000377) from Kiki, because it's absolutely amazingly written and fun and awesome.
> 
> Have a nice week-end y'all :)


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